Christmas 1985 seemed like any other Christmas. Tree had been decorated, presents purchased, and Grandpa and Grandma were scheduled to arrive for the festivities. I was in an 11 year olds bliss! (This was supposed to be the year I finally got my Cabbage Patch I had prayed for so long to get!). It wasn't until the trip to pick up George and Dodie from the airport that this normal Christmas changed. Immediately, I recognized Dodie. She was 4'11" of spitfire. She was always beautiful to me and she seemed even more so this time. It was the man next to her I had no clue who he was. Upon closer examination, it was our George. Grandpa had always been thin and short in stature, but this time he was almost skeletal! We went upon our business as normal and exchanged pleasantries and let them settle into our home for the holidays.
Christmas Eve arrives...argh, time for the damn portrait! We girls had always HATED IT! (we even have a picture of Dad glaring at Mom, Tammy and Pam smiling normally and me bawling my eyes out in the forefront :0) ) We simply couldn't see the point! This year; however, we did notice both Grandma and Mom getting misty eyed. Ok, this was absurd! Why get misty over a few pictures of some dorky kids? We humored them and hoped that would get us to the presents even faster.
It was about a week after Christmas that we were told that Grandpa was not going to make it any longer. The cancer that was playing parasite inside his body was winning its battle. He passed away on January 9th. We never would have another picture in front of the family Christmas tree that included Grandpa. I was, of course, devastated he was gone--more than words could say, but strangely comforted by the fact that his pain and trial was over. I loved him enough to wish that for him. I didn't want him to suffer to satisfy my selfish little-girl wish that he would live forever.
11 months later, we would have another devastating loss. Dodie was called to be with her love. I remember comforting myself with that thought. George is fishing in heaven, and Dodie is nagging him for doing so :0). It was December 3rd. In a couple of weeks, we would be taking another portrait without, not one, but 2 of the worlds best people. That thought was more than I could handle...and I sobbed.
If you look at the family portraits of current years, you will see the adults trying (and I say TRYING) to give a serious and lovely portrait---and the kids hamming it up. I know that Alex, Court, and Ry have experienced loss and understand. They are all too aware now of the frailty of life, but are still able to enjoy that moment. I love that . They are able to approach those moments, not as if they were their last, but as if they are ALIVE in the moment. As I grow older, I realize my time with the most precious people in my life is limited. Sometimes I find it difficult to get over that. I wish that I was able to be just like Alex, Court, Ryan, Matt, and Jess----aware of the moment, living like there IS a tomorrow. I know that Mom wants these portraits to capture a moment and people we never want to forget. I want to return to a time when these portraits meant capturing a group of people being silly, angry, and totally devoted to one another. So next time you take one of those family portraits that annoy all participants, don't think of it as "well, we might never be able to get another one of these together again", approach it with this thought---be who you are and be the family that you will love to see reflected back in the image. Be able to look back at the image and say, "HA! There is a FUNNY story that goes with that!" Those are more precious than remembering or lamenting over who isn't able to be there anymore.
Thanks Kim. I don't know where I'd be without all of my pictures of family.
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